I’m Having The Best Sex Of My Life—In My 70s

When I turned 50, I lost interest in having sex. I had worked for 30 years as a nurse and as a social service worker, mostly with people who were abused or exploited in the sex work industry, and I was subjected to a lot of vicarious sexual trauma. I also went into instant menopause at 50, after a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. I didn’t think I’d ever be interested in having sex again.

I thought about my lack of interest in sex from time to time, but it wasn’t top of mind. It didn’t affect my marriage too much, and my relationship to my husband was loving. Still, in my 60s, I wondered whether there might be a way to revive my interest in a healthy sexuality. I was curious about a somatic approach—body-centered therapies that explore how the mind-body connection might help us to heal trauma. I learned about a somatic sex educator in Vancouver who looked promising, and at age 66, I travelled from Manitoba for a session.

Somatic sex education is still taboo because it can involve touch. A core principle is something we call “choice and voice.” A lot of women are socialized to lay back and take what we’re offered sexually, but in somatic sex education, we learn to think about where exactly we would like to be touched for our pleasure. In order to receive that pleasure, you are required to actually ask for what you want. This helped me realize I was responsible for my own pleasure.

By the time the first session was done, I felt as though my sexual pilot light had re-lit. With my husband’s support, I went back for several more sessions. I felt in charge of my sexuality, and I was able to take what I learned in those sessions about my own body, and apply that knowledge to my re-ignited sexual relationship with my husband, too.

My experience was so transformative that I decided to get certified as a somatic sex educator myself, and I began taking my own clients in 2021. At 72, I’m not only sexually liberated with a healthy interest in sex and a fulfilling sex life—I feel I’m in a position to help people as a practitioner as well.

Read more: How this writer is having the best sex in her 40s, and how these women are having the best sex of their lives in their 50s and in their 60s.