I’m Having The Best Sex Of My Life—In My 50s

My sex life with my husband changed drastically more than a decade ago when we booked tickets for what we thought was a clothing-optional cruise. It turned out to be a swingers cruise. We’d been monogamous together for three years, but we decided we were both game for a new experience. Everyone on the cruise was friendly, and we met an experienced couple who showed us the ropes. We decided we didn’t want to be monogamous, and as a couple, we made the call to open our relationship.

Over the years we’ve attended swinger-friendly activities as a couple and have gotten to know other people individually. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing. At one point I fell in love with another man, and our relationship became polyamorous.

My husband and I had to learn how to navigate the boundaries of that arrangement. At one point I was afraid that the tension might end our relationship. But our marriage is strong, and we came out of that period more connected than ever. Today, we each support the other pursuing connections with lovers—I currently have one other lover outside of my marriage.

My husband and I have always had great sex, but non-monogamy made our sex life even better. To this day, my husband knows my body better than anyone, but we’ve found that being open just creates even more sexual energy in our relationship. Good sex leads to more good sex. And to me, what constitutes “good sex” can be really basic. It doesn’t have to be kinky or creative or unconventional. If sex feels pleasurable and emotionally fulfilling—if you can reflect on your sex life and feel satisfied—that’s what matters.

In the future, my only hope is that we get to keep experiencing sex the way we do. I hope that it lasts a long time.

Read more: How this writer is having the best sex in her 40s, and how these women are having the best sex of their lives in their 60s and in their 70s.