How To Talk To Your Doctor About Sexual Health At Midlife

Changes to your vulva and vaginal health? Dip in sexual desire? Pain? Prolapse? You’re not alone. 

Talking to your doctor about sexual health might be new—even if you’ve had contraception conversations over the years. But remember: sexual health is health. And while it might feel uncomfortable, remind yourself that sexual health concerns are common, and preparing for your appointment will help immensely.

We asked Shirley Weir, founder of the Menopause Chicks—a community dedicated to supporting women with quality, evidence-based health information and education—to walk us through what to say (even if it feels awkward).

1. State your goals

Start by describing your goal for the appointment, your age and date of your last period.

Say something like: “I’m here to discuss the benefits of vaginal hormone therapy. As you know, I’m 55 and my last period was three years ago.”

2. Describe your symptoms

Be sure to include the impact they’re having on your life.

Say something like: “I’m experiencing vulva and vaginal dryness, which makes exercising uncomfortable, and it’s also impacting my sex life. As well, I’ve had three UTIs in the last year, which disrupt my work day.”

3. Share your findings

Tell your doctor what you’ve researched and what it’s made you realize.

Say something like: “I’ve recently learned about the benefits of vaginal hormone therapy...and I’ve been reminded that I am not meant to suffer!”

4. Ask for help

Say something like: “I’d like to discuss all of the approved treatment options. Will you help me make the decision that’s best for me?”

5. Be assertive

Bring a paper copy of your notes, or have them written in the Notes app of your phone. This will help you stay focused and feel confident while advocating for your health and minimizes the likelihood of your concerns being dismissed as “just part of being a woman” or “you’re at that age.” 

Say something like: “I understand vulva and vaginal dryness is common, but I’d like to explore the approved treatment options that will help me feel better.”

Remember: Your sexual health concerns are valid

Your quality-of-life matters, too. And you deserve care that includes your whole self—sexual health and all.