Sex & Relationships

Wise Guys on a man who’s sending mixed signals

What should you do when your boyfriend dumps you but doesn't really let go? Our all-male panel dishes on this and other sex and relationship dilemmas

Dear Wise Guys:
I’ve been in a terrific relationship for eight months. Well, I was until a week ago, when he pulled right back. All he will say is that he’s not good enough for me and that it’s over. The night he broke it off, he called me (he was drunk at the time) and said he loved me. Plus he still emails me. He says maybe he just needs a few days to think things through. In the meantime, this hurts. I love him but I’m confused. What should I do?

Dave, a happily married man, says:
Damn right he’s not good enough for you! He gets to jerk you around and doesn’t have to come clean about what’s really going on, and you have to sit there and take it? Forget this guy and move on, fast. If you can’t, then you can’t accept no less than complete honesty. Under no circumstances should you take him back until you find out what triggered the change.

Bruce, a pal to countless gals, says:
That’s easy – take a page from Gloria Gaynor and change that stupid lock before he has a change of heart. A guy who ends your relationship on a whim and then drunk-dials you to moan about his state of indecision, while refusing to give you any reasonable explanation for his actions, isn’t worth your attention. You should take his advice and find someone who is good enough for you.

Patrick, brother of two sisters, says:
Tell him that if he cares about you, he’ll make like a Band-Aid and rip himself away quickly. Love is about sharing happiness, security and a sense of being loved in return. He isn’t achieving any of these things. Instead, he seems to be creating – and enjoying – the drama, so unless you are too, I’d pull the Band-Aid off yourself. Stop answering his calls and emails, and put yourself back on the market.

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