Living

If you find the guttural groans of professional tennis players annoying—when I can’t take it anymore I put the TV on mute—you aren’t alone. In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, Ian Ritchie, head of Wimbledon, admitted that officials too would like to see a cap on player grunting, especially from the ladies, who appear to be the most vocal in their play.

One of my best friends is leaving me for the summer. This makes me very sad. I hate to admit it, but I’m also jealous of her. I hate being jealous of friends. I feel that not being happy for your friends is a bad character trait, so I can’t believe that I feel this way now. But my best friend is leaving me – for overnight camp.

Today, I took the nuclear iodine for my thyroid scan tomorrow. I guess that I'm officially radioactive.

Pubic hair has been public hair for a while now and on account of it many women are divided as to whether they’re going to stay in the dark furry ages of the past or pole-vault their privy parts into the porno-inspired hairlessness of the present era.

We all have regrets. I have one that I can see right now as I sit cross-legged in my chair. The tattoo on my ankle is a daily painful reminder of how stupid I was. Having a tattoo that you hate is a constant reminder of a time when you did something dumb. When my daughter was young, I used to tell her the tattoo was a band-aid. But somewhere over the years she got smart and said, “Mommy, your band-aid isn’t coming off!”