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What You Should Know When You Become A Caregiver

Four caregivers share the tips and resources they wish they knew about earlier.
A close-up of the arms of two people, a man, in a brown button-down shirt, holding hands with a woman, with turquoise blouse sleeves (Photo: iStock)

Caring for loved ones is an immeasurable task, and anticipating their needs can be challenging if you’ve never been a caregiver before. Chatelaine asked four caregivers about the tips and resources they wish they knew about earlier.

Take care of your mental health

“I have two aging parents at home: Dad has vascular dementia and Mom has Alzheimer’s. Mom went downhill fast. In two and a half years, she’s not Mom anymore. Dad has had a hard time with that.

“Managing this is a day-to-day thing for me. There are a few things I wish I knew: No two cases are the same, and having mental healthcare support is so important for me to be able to manage setting family boundaries while navigating the loss. I have support through the Alzheimer Society, but finding what works for you is invaluable.” —Wendy Nason, 53, Fredericton, N.B.

Do whatever it takes to make life a little easier

“When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I moved back home to look after things for him. I look after his appointments, his personal care, his meals and dietary restrictions. We need to keep him home as much as possible because he’s immunocompromised. But my job [as] is really demanding, and balancing that with Dad’s care is a lot.

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“When my friend referred me to a meal prep company, My Sweet Beet, I was so happy. I need to make sure Dad has healthy, home-cooked meals that fit his dietary restrictions. We need halal food with no spice, which is difficult to get in Indian cuisine. This service is a small thing but it helps a lot. It gives me more time to focus on Dad.” —Shaheen Shaikh, 42, Ajax, Ont.

Create a plan of care

“As a caregiver of elderly parents, as well as someone who works in the healthcare field, it’s important to educate yourself and make a plan, even before illness or disaster hits. Create a plan that involves taking a look at your family assets, a strategy to divide responsibilities between family members, and ask your parents what they would want if your family should ever experience this. This plan can include access to culturally appropriate resources, such as workers who speak their first language and food that is familiar. Having access to these supports provides comfort to both caregivers and recipients.” —Carol MacDonald, 56, Toronto

Find a caregiver coach

“My mother has frontotemporal dementia. We’ve always been incredibly close. When Dad passed away, I didn’t want her placed in long-term care. I wanted to take care of her myself for as long as I could, and I took an early retirement to do so. But it’s been tough and there aren’t a lot of resources in Alberta for caregivers.

“It may seem obvious but if you can connect with any kind of caregiver organizations, do it as early as possible. I connected with a caregiver coach through Caregivers Alberta, and they act as a one-on-one buddy. These are people with lived experiences in caregiving who can hold your hand through the process. Not a therapist; just a beautiful friend.” —Linda Van der Velde, 56, Lethbridge, Alta.

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