Boob diaries: 6 women share their breast hang-ups and joys

Before I had breasts, I felt like my body was viewed as adolescent by my intimate partners. At 29, I had been on hormones for two years, but breast enhancement was a way to make a permanent physical commitment to my transition. Surgery is not a goal for every trans person, but for me, being able to pass as female in public was important for my survival, for my everyday getting along.

I wasn’t going for total porn-star boobs — I just wanted a pair that were nice to look at and hold and that fit the rest of my body. I wanted them to look like I could have grown them myself. My doctor and I decided on round, cohesive silicone gels.

Coming out of any cosmetic procedure, there’s a tendency toward a sort of buyer’s remorse — like, “What have I done?” “Will people still find me attractive?” “Will I still find my body attractive?” I had to come to terms with my new shape  — getting used to cooking with these things in front of me, and having to move my arms differently. But it was exciting. It wasn’t like I needed breasts to be female, but now I look at my body and recognize it as my own.