Theatrical release poster. Illustration, Diana Duong.
You could probably convince director Quentin Tarantino himself to remake his uber-violent 1992 heist film with a crew of his favourite women: Pam Grier as Ms. White, Kerry Washington as Ms. Orange, Patricia Arquette as Ms. Pink, and let Uma Thurman go wild as the ruthlessly insane Ms. Blonde.
Sequester these 12 actresses in a remake of the classic courtroom drama and you’ll certainly have an Oscar contender: Tilda Swinton, Meryl Streep, Octavia Spencer, Kate Winslet, Reese Witherspoon, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Julianne Moore, Natalie Portman, Hilary Swank, Piper Perabo, Rashida Jones, and Rachel McAdams.
We’re going streaking! We imagine Mindy Kaling as the cuckolded sad sack originally played by Luke Wilson, Melissa McCarthy taking over Will Ferrell’s Whitesnake-loving Frank The Tank, and Tina Fey reprising Vince Vaughn’s toddler-toting stereo salesman role.
It’s hard to imagine any three actors capturing the chemistry of Martin Short, Chevy Chase and Steve Martin, but we’d certainly like to see Emma Stone, Rebel Wilson, and Anna Kendrick don the sombreros and give it a shot.
Turns out, this one is already in the making: The Expendabelles is rumoured to start production in early 2015. Sigourney Weaver has dropped out, but in our version she continues to lead the team, with these kick-ass women backing her up: Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Q, Lucy Lawless, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lucy Liu, Gina Carano, Kate Beckinsale, Zoe Saldana, and Uma Thurman
Come to think of it, this note-perfect movie probably shouldn’t be remade—unless Amy Adams and Viola Davis are willing to tackle the roles of unlikely prison friends.
Cast George Clooney’s pal Julia Roberts as Ocean, and obviously Angelina Jolie will take over for husband Brad Pitt. Then round out the cast with Jennifer Lawrence, Zhang Ziyi, Anne Hathaway, Tatiana Maslany, Elizabeth Banks, Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike, Marion Cotillard, and Charlize Theron.
Now for something completely different, imagine six great British actresses remaking one of the greatest comedy films of all time. It would be six massive pairs of shoes to fill, but we believe Emma Thompson, Brenda Blethyn, Helena Bonham Carter, Julie Walters, dame Maggie Smith, and dame Judi Dench have what it takes to bust our elderberry-scented guts on this Arthurian quest for the Holy Grail.
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